My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other
I’m so done with my life
What if it bites me and it dies?
that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.
What if it bites itself and I die?
What if it bites me and someone else dies?
That’s correlation, not causation.
what if we bite each other and neither of us die
oh my god
I love this post so much
- Doctor: I think you'll need a shot
- Me: AYYYYY
- Doctor: AYYYYY *brings out tequila*
How to have sex: First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times. One, two three. Then pelvic thrust. Whooooooo, whooooooo. Stop on your right foot, don’t forget it! Now it’s time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, then this, then that, then this and that, and then…
HOW CAN WE BE HAPPY ?
Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar.
Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each one a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.
Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos.
At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon.
Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it.
Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.
The speaker began— exactly this is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.
Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness.
And this is the purpose of human life.